My son is lost to me. My oldest son, who endures a self-imposed exile in the rustic badlands of Columbus, Ohio…he’s a Californian by heart, “but it’s so much cheaper out here”…a refrain I hear often and cannot fathom…yes, its cheaper to live in Ohio…or Texas…or Oklahoma…ad infinitum…but when you leave your house, you’re in Ohio…or Texas…or Oklahoma…ad infinitum. But I digress…anyway, we were bemoaning the end of the football season…which, frankly, is a little like Mary Antoinette bemoaning the end of the guillotine…you see we were both Houston Oiler fans…which is like marrying a guy in a trailer park…you know sooner or later you’re going to get beat…and then when the Oilers left Houston, we had to seek our pain elsewhere and chose the San Diego Chargers, a team guaranteed to satiate even the most avid sports masochist…but I’m digressing again…anyway, football is over for six months or so, and neither of us like baseball, which seems about as exciting as an international shoe-tying competition…so to fill the gap, my son says he’s going to try to get into NASCAR…NASCAR…dark times indeed…apparently my son’s soul has been tainted by long-term exposure to the land of crimson necks which makes up a good part of America’s heartland…NASCAR…which, I believe, is not a sport at all, since most of us do the same thing as NASCAR “athletes”…drive…except we don’t do it as fast, and we stop when we need to pee. And please, of course, its fans are only waiting for a crash; otherwise they could get the same thrill by watching a Hotwheels track…and the only thing my son finds attractive about it is that it basically goes all year long, so he doesn’t have to bemoan the end of a season…great…the beating never stops…anyway, I will try to be accepting of my son’s path, waiting patiently to welcome him back to the light…when he tires (is that a pun?) of the endless drone of engines, interspersed with the sounds of crushed and torn metal…and realizes that we could set up bleachers along most any urban freeway and find the same level of entertainment.