Okay…while I find it to be highly unlikely, it has been mentioned that my life could be…more…well…spiritual. Yes, I know…I don’t believe it either…as is obvious to anyone who reads the mindless prattle that has preceded this blog entry…I already have one foot in Nirvana. But Mistress T, my therapist…who is trying to turn me into a Buddhist…a wasted effort since to be Buddhist is to renounce excess, and I am a person with the motto, “Too much is not enough”…Mistress T wants me to be mindful…which I already am…well, my mind is certainly full…of what, you can guess…and she wants me to meditate. Well, that sounds cool. Sit down…do nothing…I do a lot of nothing. But eliminate unwanted thoughts…wow…

“Okay, I’m meditating…meditating…no thoughts…breathing…breathing in…breathing out…breathing deep…I’m a deep thinker…like a deep septic tank that holds a ton of $hit…whoops….meditating…no thoughts…Am I a pedophile if I have a constant urge to fondle my inner child?…whoops…meditating…breathe in…breathe out…If I stuck false teeth in my vagina, guys could screw me and imagine they’re getting oral sex at the same time…whoops…breathe out…in…out…in…out…would I get in trouble is I snuck into the Braille library and ironed the books?…stop that!…breathe in…out…in…out…

Maybe Nirvana will have to wait…