Well, after I got dressed this morning I realized I had snakes on my feet. Creepy, huh? Indeed…creepy…creepy shoes that are made of fake snake skin, so I feel like I’m walking around with my feet buried in a couple of boa constrictors…and you know, as I wrote that last sentence, the creepiness increased exponentially…like Indiana Jones, “I hate snakes!”…and no, there really isn’t any other comparison between Indie and myself, apart from the fact that he quests after ancient relics and I, in fact, am myself, an ancient…well, never mind…but I digress…so how did I find myself adorned with the faux flesh of a slithering reptile? It all gets back to my giant stature…i.e. tall…and not as in my place in history, although several of the voices in my head are attempting to argue the point, even as I speak…er…write…no, as I’ve pointed out elsewhere in this blog, my physical height reaches biblical proportions…out distanced only by my grandiosity…and my feet, of course, go along with the total package…similar in the way you can’t hold up a 20 foot Christmas tree by nailing one foot boards to the bottom…no, you’ve got to put some BIG suckers…hence, my feet…and now that I think about it, nailing the base to a tree makes me think of shoeing a horse…which is probably a somewhat fair analogy itself…a big a$$ horse…so when it comes to finding shoes I cannot afford to be too picky…and when I do find shoes that fit…and are 50% off…I get them…even if there’s a good reason why they’re 50% off…because they’ve got a ton of them…because most people don’t want to walk around looking like they have snakes on their feet…especially in tall grass…look out! a rattler!!! Shoot it!!!…which makes me wonder why anyone would go to the trouble to take leather, and make it look like snake skin for shoes…taking the flesh of a fairly innocuous animal and making it look like a really creepy one…do they realize that some women will be stuck having to buy whatever shoes fit…cause “if the shoe fits…”…and they just want to screw with us…and not in the good way…few people want that…they can’t be sure we’ll let go until we’re finished… but just mess with our heads…but I realize that there are people of all kinds in this world…people that wear striped shirts with plaid pants…people that eat fried pork rinds…people that vote Republican…so I’m sure there are many people that think having snakes on their feet is cool…I, on the other hand, just try not to look down too often…hey, if I get the shoes wet will they be “water moccasins?”