I try to take care of my car…’cause if you’re a comic like me, you figure you’re going to drive it forever. I just wish I could find someplace where they change the oil…and that’s all! No…instead they’re always selling something else…something vital that can’t wait…like…”well, Ms. Arthur, your oil and transmission fluid looks okay, but I’m afraid your glove compartment is really full…and you know those coins, bits of paper and lint, expired insurance papers and unpaid parking tickets have pretty well clogged it up. You might want us to take care of that because if we don’t and you have to stop fast, all those bits and pieces might fly out and injure you…and we don’t want you being buried with the imprint of a nickel on your forehead. Now we have a special today on our glove compartment contents reduction kit that will only cost $49.95 but considering the age of your vehicle you might want to consider adding the special glove compartment protective coating that will help keep the copper from the pennies from causing undue engine wear and contaminating the rest of the car’s body such that it passes through the steering wheel and into your skeletal structure causing you to look like Abraham Lincoln.